


I Don't Think I Love You

by croshekh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Arguing, Break Up, Crying, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Makeup, Passive-aggression, Silent Treatment, Sloppy Makeouts, Sobbing, Social Media, Star Wars References, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-07-24 01:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7488594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/croshekh/pseuds/croshekh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo doesn't know what he really wants and it's negative effects take a toll on Kenma. Thanks to some friends and team mates, he gets back up on his feet. Though Kenma seems fine, he really wants his relationship with Kuroo to resume as it was. Sadly this can not happen without exhausting drama.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End

 

He had just finished a level on his game. Kenma knew it was late and thought it’d be best to turn in for the night as opposed to starting the next level.  He went to check his phone one last time and to his delight he had received a message from Kuroo. The two of them had started dating a little over a month ago and Kenma was ecstatic about their new relationship. His face burned red as he opened the message.

Kuroo: Hey are you up?

Kenma: yeah”

Kuroo: are you awake awake

Kenma: yes

Kuroo: Like more awake than Star Wars the force awakens???

Kenma sighed yet again at how silly he thought Kuroo was being. He usually deemed Kuroo as being puerile.

Kenma: I’m pretty awake and alert.

There wasn’t a reply for a while and Kenma was about to put down his phone for the night. Then Kuroo sent a long paragraph which was very uncharacteristic of him. Every word of it hurt to read.

Kuroo: Hey so I wanted to talk to you on Sunday but I never got the chance, I kept on thinking how to word this throughout the week but I didn’t want it to seem abrupt... If that makes sense…

Kuroo: Anyways after hanging out all day on Sunday I realized how much I don’t want to be in a relationship. It’s not something you did so don’t think it’s your fault, I just don’t think I’m at the place in my life where I want one. I really want to keep being friends because I do value out friendship, but beyond that I’m just not at a place to do romantic relationships.

Kenma began to feel himself shake as he scanned the message over and over to make sure it wasn’t what he thought it was. Kuroo wanted to break up with him? After a minute or so he typed out his reply.

Kenma: I was feeling the complete opposite actually.

Kuroo: Shit man I didn’t want it to be like this…

_What did he mean by ‘this’?_

Kuroo: I know we haven’t been together for that long but I didn’t want you to be actually hurt

_What was that supposed to mean?_

Kuroo: I am a beacon of sin.

Kenma rolled his eyes at how stupid this all sounded.

Kenma: Well of course I’m a bit hurt.

Kuroo: I’d be more hurt if the person I was in a relationship with didn’t like me anymore and didn’t tell me.

_Who the fuck wouldn’t?_

Kuroo: Bokuto told me to tell you as soon as possible

_Bokuto told you to…_

Kenma: How long have you felt like this?

Kuroo: I had suspicions before Sunday thinking I might not want to be a relationship, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions.

Kenma thought back to how Kenma had kissed Kuroo on Sunday. He didn’t want to do it in public with the rest of the team watching but he felt that then was his chance to do it. It made him feel guilty for initiating it thinking he’d regret not kissing Kuroo at all.

Kenma: That kiss did feel very one sided.

Kuroo: Please don’t feel bad. I really thought that I was going to enjoy it but I was like ‘wow I did not like that at all’

_What did I do wrong?_

Kenma: I’m still going to feel bad about it

Kuroo: Please don’t. I still want to be friends.

_He’s pushing it._

Kenma: I know perfectly well how you feels. Tell Bokuto that he told you to do the right thing.

Kuroo: I’m glad we’re on the same page and I hope there won’t be awkwardness between us from now on.

_That’s a silly thing to hope for._

Kenma: Just give me some time.

Kuroo: Of course.


	2. Comfort

Kenma stared at his phone screen. He wanted to cry. He really felt like crying, but the tears never came. He scrolled through Kuroo’s breakup text repeatedly as if it would alter the meaning of it. _This is it_ , he thought. _Kuroo isn’t mine anymore. He doesn’t want to be with me…_

Not knowing what else to do about his predicament, he texted Shōyō.  Hinata knew Kuroo and knew how much Kenma liked him. _Maybe he knows what to do…_

Kenma: Hey are you up?

He probably wasn’t awake in the first place but Kenma needed someone to vent to. Kenma was completely lost on what to do next. Cry? No. No tears were threatening to spill. Eat? He wasn’t hungry? Play a videogame? Astonishingly, he wasn’t in the mood.

Suddenly his phone buzzed.

Shōyō: I am, what’s up?

Kenma: He broke it off

Shōyō: Oh no! Did he say why?

Kenma: He just wasn’t feeling it, which is the complete opposite of what I feel.

Shōyō: Is theree anything I can do to help?

Kenma: Just someone to listen. I feel a little abandoned.

Kenma: Like I need to grow a new backbone

Shōyō: I can definitely understand feeling that way right now.

Kenma: I really don’t know how to deal with this.

Shōyō: Makes sense, breakups more often than not end up hurting someone in the relationship.

Shōyō:  Have you already done the required bowl of ice cream?

 _I can’t even think about eating right now._ But nonetheless Kenma stood up and made his way to the kitchen.

Kenma: I feel like I was being stupid.

Kenma opened the freezer and pulled out a carton of chocolate ice cream.

Shōyō: In what way?

Kenma: I kissed him on Sunday and it was super one sided.

Shōyō: Oh no D: I imagine that was when you had a feeling things weren’t going to go well after that?

Kenma: Yeah.

Kenma: And that was also when he realized he didn’t like being with me.

Shōyō: :(

Kenma scraped out a large scoop of the ice cream into his bowl.

Kenma: I immediately knew but I denied it for the past few days.

Shōyō: are you guys planning to stay friends?

Kenma: We agreed on staying friends when we started dating

Kenma: Because we both knew about the possibility of it not working out and how we didn’t want to lose each other

Kenma: And how it would suck for the rest of the team.

Eating the ice cream was satisfying. The cold solid slowly melting down his throat and into his stomach was the only feeling he could focus on. The rest of him felt numb.

Shōyō: Alright so at least you know he still likes you as a friend- the romantic attraction just probably wasn’t there.

Kenma: It’s scary.

Shōyō: I don’t blame you if you avoid talking to him at least until the wound isn’t quite so fresh.

Shōyō: But when one person in a relationship has stronger feelings than the other- it makes breakups that much harder because even though there’s nothing you could have really changed. You still feel personally responsible for not noticing the other’s feelings or maybe not trying harder and there’s a lot of second guessing that happens.

Kenma: I had the same amount of second guessing as her but it ended with a different conclusion.

Shōyō: This is one of those situations that just really sucks because it’s an internal battle of trying to protect one’s own happiness versus saving the other form getting heart broken.

Kenma: I ate that bowl of ice cream.

Shōyō: Good, good! How do you feel now?

Kenma: Not hungry but still sad.

That was the simplest way to describe his feelings.

Shōyō: That’s okay. It just happened so you have every right to be sad about it.

Kenma: I felt the urge to say some really petty things to him.

Shōyō: If you still want to say them the day after tomorrow then go for it but right now you’re likely to say things you might regret later.

Kenma: That’s why I didn’t say it to him and I’m telling you about it.

Shōyō: I know it sucks like hell but it will eventually not hurt as much, and again, you always have me and your team to talk to if you need someone to talk to.

Kenma: Thanks, Shōyō.

Shōyō: No problem!

Kenma sighed and put down his phone. He felt somewhat better but he still had a dull pain in his chest that seemed like it would never go away. He shuffled back to his bedroom and laid down on his bed, shutting his eyes tight.


End file.
